Catalina's Milky Way Dreams(c) Re- Written 2024 - By The Depressed Poet, Doc Dalton
Shooting Stars and fast moving CarsRumble through the roads of my mindTick-e-ty Tock, the old sounds of the clockSay's it's almost a quarter past nine
The moons surely rising, the stars are a glidingAnd Mr. Sandman is ready to roamHurry off to bed and put your pillow under your headHe might just be visiting you tonight at homeDrifting off to sleep is such a wonderful featAdventures you'll enjoy on your ownMaking new friends on a journey to no endA secrete life that is yours all aloneDon't be afraid of those gobble lee goo'sOr those pirates drifting to sea on their boatsThere's no need to worry there just in your dreamsLike rainbow clouds and cotton candy floatsOh that sky's full of colors of make believe wondersExciting every step of the wayCan't you let me stay for just a little bit longerPlease, don't take my Dreams a wayTo see this through a child's eyesOn the path to where stars brightly beamThrough a different world of twist and twirlsWon't you come to my Milky Way DreamsWe could have so much funUnder an ice cream sun and laugh our time awaySing some M & M songs the whole day longUntil we awake to brand new day
Pluto say's hey kiddo don't get out of bedAs Snakel Puss laughs and says, ah it's OKKKKKKKKPopeye yell's, were gone in a minute after I eat me spinachPoo say's all aboard my Banana Split SleighOh that Sky's full of colors of make believe wondersExciting every step of the wayCan't you let me stay for just a little bit longerWorry not Catalina, we won't take your Dreams a way
To see this through a child's eyesOn the path to where stars brightly beamThrough a different world of twist and twirlsWon't you come to my Milky Way Dreams
Catalina say's, please come join me, on my Milky Way Dreams
I went into the store for one thing. Coffee. That was it. Simple mission. Get coffee.Leave store. Pretend to be a functioning adult for at least six minutes. Instead, I somehow ended up standing in the feminine hygiene aisle at three in the morning questioning every decision that led me to this exact moment in life.
Now before you judge me, the coffee aisle was blocked by two employees arguing about whether raccoons could legally own property. So naturally I took a shortcut. That was my first mistake. The second mistake was making eye contact with the tampons.
At first, I thought I was just tired. But then one of the boxes started singing. Softly at first. Like a tiny Broadway performance trapped inside cardboard packaging.
"♫ Heavy flowwwww… don't you knowwwww… ♫" I stopped dead in the aisle.
Another box joined in from the top shelf.
"♫ Super plus confidence for the modern womannnnnn ♫"
Then suddenly the whole aisle erupted like a hormonally aggressive church choir.
"♫ ABSORBENCY IS POWER! ♫"
I dropped my basket. A nearby lady looked at me and calmly said, "First time?"
FIRST TIME? Ma'am do you understand your sanitary products are performing a full musical number. One of them just hit a high note powerful enough to shake a bottle of shampoo off the shelf.
Meanwhile, the coffee in my cart started talking too. "You need me," it whispered seductively. "Without me you have the personality of expired mayonnaise."
The tampons gasped dramatically. "AND TOGETHER THEY YELLED, OH NO HE DOESN'T!" they screamed in perfect harmony. One box tipped itself forward like it was ready to fight. At this point I had completely accepted that I was either losing my mind or trapped inside the world's weirdest commercial.
Then the store manager appeared out of nowhere. Did he seem concerned?No of course not, because he realizes that it's 3 in the morning and all the nut jobs are out, and that would make me one of them. But he did look exhausted. He rubbed his temples and sighed with a devilish smile, They usually stop singing after aisle seven closes.
Apparently, this was normal here. The coffee started getting cocky now. Go ahead," it said. "Buy the cheap brand again. See how that depression tastes tomorrow morning."
The tampons booed loudly. One yelled, "GET HIM, FOLGERS!" Then somehow the pads joined in a very judgmental crowd I must say. Oh no. suddenly all the products began arguing with each other like drunk relatives at Thanksgiving.
The energy drinks screamed nonstop. The laxatives kept threatening everyone. The prune juice sounded weirdly seductive for no reason at all. I tried to leave. The automatic doors locked. Then over the loudspeaker I heard: Cleanup on aisle five.Existential crisis near the frozen peas. That was me. I was the cleanup.
By the time I finally escaped the store, I had spent $94, bought six pounds of coffee, three candles I did not need, and somehow became emotionally intimidated by a singing box of tampons named Deborah.
And honestly?
Deborah had some valid points about my life choices.
Now before you judge me, the coffee aisle was blocked by two employees arguing about whether raccoons could legally own property. So naturally I took a shortcut. That was my first mistake. The second mistake was making eye contact with the tampons.
At first, I thought I was just tired. But then one of the boxes started singing. Softly at first. Like a tiny Broadway performance trapped inside cardboard packaging.
"♫ Heavy flowwwww… don't you knowwwww… ♫" I stopped dead in the aisle.
Another box joined in from the top shelf.
"♫ Super plus confidence for the modern womannnnnn ♫"
Then suddenly the whole aisle erupted like a hormonally aggressive church choir.
"♫ ABSORBENCY IS POWER! ♫"
I dropped my basket. A nearby lady looked at me and calmly said, "First time?"
FIRST TIME? Ma'am do you understand your sanitary products are performing a full musical number. One of them just hit a high note powerful enough to shake a bottle of shampoo off the shelf.
Meanwhile, the coffee in my cart started talking too. "You need me," it whispered seductively. "Without me you have the personality of expired mayonnaise."
The tampons gasped dramatically. "AND TOGETHER THEY YELLED, OH NO HE DOESN'T!" they screamed in perfect harmony. One box tipped itself forward like it was ready to fight. At this point I had completely accepted that I was either losing my mind or trapped inside the world's weirdest commercial.
Then the store manager appeared out of nowhere. Did he seem concerned?No of course not, because he realizes that it's 3 in the morning and all the nut jobs are out, and that would make me one of them. But he did look exhausted. He rubbed his temples and sighed with a devilish smile, They usually stop singing after aisle seven closes.
Apparently, this was normal here. The coffee started getting cocky now. Go ahead," it said. "Buy the cheap brand again. See how that depression tastes tomorrow morning."
The tampons booed loudly. One yelled, "GET HIM, FOLGERS!" Then somehow the pads joined in a very judgmental crowd I must say. Oh no. suddenly all the products began arguing with each other like drunk relatives at Thanksgiving.
The energy drinks screamed nonstop. The laxatives kept threatening everyone. The prune juice sounded weirdly seductive for no reason at all. I tried to leave. The automatic doors locked. Then over the loudspeaker I heard: Cleanup on aisle five.Existential crisis near the frozen peas. That was me. I was the cleanup.
By the time I finally escaped the store, I had spent $94, bought six pounds of coffee, three candles I did not need, and somehow became emotionally intimidated by a singing box of tampons named Deborah.
And honestly?
Deborah had some valid points about my life choices.
